House of the Spirits

The characters in House of the Spirits live their lives in very different ways then some people do today. There are situations that are handled in ways that seem strange.
One thing that I really can not relate to is how Blanca lets Esteban treat her. When she is in his house she has no opinion at all. He makes all the decisions not only for her but for everyone else. How can she just like him live her life for her?
Another thing that I can not understand is how Blanca just chooses not to go with her love. She makes up these excuses and she even says that she doesn't think she could live the way he lives. If she loves him then why wouldn't she want to be with him. In love you're supposed to make sacrifices to be with the one you love but Blanca doesn't do that. Sometimes I wonder if she actually did love him or if she just wanted a male companion in her life. It was just easier to keep coming up with excuses to not live with him rather than just going to live with him and realizing that she doesn't actually love him as much as she thinks she does. I know if I was in love I would do anything and everything I could to be with that person. But I guess that is where Blanca and I differ.